Unce, Tice, Fee Times

I had a birthday recently, and at the time I wanted to write a post about me.  So I sat down and thought.  I couldn't come up with anything.  I have a backlog of stories and pictures of my kids that I will probably never catch up with, but if I try to write only about myself, I don't have anything to say.  Since this blog was created to share pictures and stories about my kids, I actually try not to talk about myself too much.  But I was going to take the opportunity to jot some things down that I thought would be interesting for my kids to read later.  Nothing came to me.  Truth is, my children are my life.  Being a mom is my life.  And I'm okay with that.  In fact, I worry about the time when they all are away, and I have to entertain myself again.  So I decided to try again, and this is what I settled on...

Me Randomness

1.  I love watching The Soup.  If you don't watch it, and you have a sense of humor, you should.

2.  I wear a t-shirt almost every day.  It's just me.

3.  I want to be bilingual someday.  I would love to learn Spanish or French, but I will most likely learn Chinese first.  That would be cool too.  Seems impossible, but cool.

4.  My favorite band is Motion City Soundtrack.  Hands down.  Way above any other.  I love them.  I don't like talking about music too much, because I don't think I sound very articulate about my feelings.  That being said, I am passionate about it.  It plays a big part in my life.

5.  I talk too much.  I end up with my foot in my mouth A LOT.

6.  My only obsession is keeping my fingernails and toenails neat and painted.  

7.  I love Indian food, but Thai food is a close second.

8.  I'm trying to be more faithful, a better wife, and a better mother.  Oh, and a better housekeeper.  How do you become good at something you hate?

9.  My favorite dessert is just chocolate.  Really good chocolate.  Like Lazzaroni with amaretti, or Scharffen Berger.

10.  I'm a babysitter.  Something I never thought I would be.         

    

A $ $

I really want to use the A-word as I write this post, but I won't.  So, in your mind, whenever you see the word butt, replace it, and you will know my real feelings.

I have a silly habit.  I bite my kids.  Not hard, but that is one way I get my love out.  I have done it with every child from a very young age.  I can't control it.  I feel the love boiling up and if I don't squeeze or bite, it will explode.  My favorite victims are toes.  But I have been known to bite calf meat, ear lobes, fingers, elbows, etc.

The day I am writing about was no different than any other day.  The boys and I were in their room playing.  I got the urge to pretend Mads' leg was chicken.  So I started to "eat" it.  He laughs, of course.  Because I am pretty funny after all.  He will try to get away, but not very well.  When I have had enough chicken, I move on to sausages (toes).  I eat and eat and eat.  Yummy sausage!  Mads is having a good time.  When I have had enough sausage, I move on to something I have never tried before.  Ham!  It's genius.  Why have I never thought of this one before?  I flip him over and start gnawing on his butt.  Yummy ham!  He is loving it.  He thinks I'm hilarious.  All the while, G is looking more and more curious.  So once I have had enough ham, I move on to the baby of the family.  I got his sausages first, because they are irresistible.  He loves it too, but tries to get away.  As I am pulling G closer to get more food, I feel one of the worst pains I have ever felt in my life.  The victim became the attacker.  Mads decided to pretend my butt was ham.  He wasn't gentle.  Actually, he drew blood.  I was still in my pajamas so I didn't have the protection denim would have offered.  I was in tears.  Through my tears and pain filled voice, I explained that we don't bite hard, just soft for fun.  I think he got it.  If you ever want to get something through to your kids, tell them while you are in fits of hysterics.  It wasn't that bad.  I'm not that big of a wuss.  I just liked the way hysterics sounded. 

It was better soon.  I would have taken a picture of my wound, but I didn't want anyone getting too jealous of my spectacular butt.  I settled on a picture of Mads that looked like he was going to bite you at any second.  Look at those sharp teeth!  He is a vampire that seeks out butts.

Talk about something coming back to bite you in the butt!     

Half Empty

This is the first year we were able to put our tree up so soon.  We bought our artificial tree last year.  We used to have to wait until the week before Christmas to get our real one.  We miss the real one, but the pros of a fake one out weighed the cons.  I didn't use a flash on the first picture because I thought it would look cooler, but if you look closely you can see that the bottom half of the tree is not decorated.  I actually grabbed G, reached his arm up as far as I could, and told the kids not to put any ornaments below that point.  Here's why... 

He was desperate to grab them.  And he did.  I must not have measured accurately.

We decided it was safer not to put the stockings by the fireplace either.  They were easily reachable, and the holders are really heavy and would hurt if they fell on someone.  So we put them on our wall.  I think it looks pretty good!  I know, we still need to get a stocking for G.    

Stomp Your Feet

I am thankful for... (very much in order of importance!!)

Nate.

mushroom risotto.

museums.

my 5 little buggers.

my house.

a husband who can cook.

warm feet.

my dog.

jokes.

a husband who makes jokes, pretty much constantly.

fish, birds, mammals, amphibians, and reptiles, oh and some bugs.  Not mosquitoes or wasps.

toilets.

health.

the Arctic Circle near our house.   I love the fudge brownie shake.

Dr. Mario.

kids who try not to fight on my birthday.

kids who fail, but keep trying.  (at not fighting, that is)

my car.

diapers that don't leak.

a good school.

lower gas prices.

crayons.

friends and family, and

Indian food.

Aunt Theresa had the girls make a book yesterday.  Each page said something different and they filled in the rest.  The older girl's books were thoughtful and nice.  Dare's was just down right funny.  Not that it wasn't thoughtful, it was just funny too.  Here is how it goes... (the bold is what was already in the book, the rest is what she added)

I am Thankful for...   by Dare

The soft green grass and   water

The warm brown earth and   tomatoes

The cool blue lakes and   trees

The tall green trees and   short green trees

The purple mountains and   snow

The bright yellow sun and   birds

The beautiful blue sky and   stars

On the last page she just wrote something else she was thankful for, and she wrote dirt.  I didn't realize she was that into dirt.  I guess she thought short green trees were being left out.  And tomatoes really?  She does like them a lot.

Seriously though, I love the holiday season.  I always realize how much I have to be thankful for.  I am really thankful for my husband and wonderful kids.  I'm not sure how I ended up with five, but they are all amazing and I can't imagine my life without them.    

Dancer

I'm going out right now to get the new Killers cd.  I have high hopes for it.  I have been disappointed in the last few cds I have bought.  I also heard a new All American Rejects song the other night.  I have high hopes for them too.  Even though the song said "hell" like 90 times.  Not sure if I want my kids saying hell yet.  Unless it is important, like "Go to hell!",  or "Oh hell!".  You know, the necessary times. 

What I really need is diapers.  For G, not me.  I just figured I would get the cd while I was at Target.

P.S.  This is my 100th post.  Whoop dee doo.  Actually, I consider it a success if I can do anything 10 times let alone 100.  So it is a good thing.  I feel really good about myself.  I think I will go buy myself a cd or something.  Maybe the new Killers.  Huh?  Wait a second.  I was going to do that anyway.  I know.  I'll play Rock Band all night to celebrate.  And I'll drink a Dr. Pepper.  I deserve it.

In Honor of Recent Events...

A friend of mine had a baby recently.  Getting pregnant wasn't easy for them.  She says it was a miracle.  As it got close to the end, I remember her saying she was excited to see the baby, but she didn't want the pregnancy to end because she thought that it might be the only time she had that experience.  I will never forget that.  I think by number 5 I didn't appreciate it as much.  I do remember, with all my babies, feeling like I could never hold them as close as when they were in my belly.  As far as I can tell, I will never have that experience again either.  

I knew (thought, one can never be 100% sure... right?) that G was my last before I had him.  So I went to the hospital planning on enjoying every minute.  I even expected to be emotional, and sentimental.  The doctor did not want me to go over my due date because I was huge, and I had a tendency for short labors.  He didn't want me having a baby in my car.  So I was induced on my due date.  I put it off as long as possible hoping I would go into labor naturally.  It didn't happen.  Even as I was walking to my hospital room, I hoped my water would break or something.  I don't know why it was so important to me.  I figured if I was going to have a baby this way, I would have him pain free.   It was.  And it was fun.  Nate is the best person to have with you in a hospital room.

So when I saw G for the first time, I cried... right?  Wrong!  I laughed.  I couldn't stop laughing.  His head was so big and it had a trapezoid shape.  His cheeks rested nicely on his shoulders!  I couldn't believe how fat he looked.  His body looked like he was two months old.  I loved it.  He was so cute.

                                                       

We brought him home on Thanksgiving Day last year.  And he has been a blessing every day since.  

Now he is a kid who causes trouble.  That is his favorite pastime.  Since he has been walking for over three months, he is extremely mobile.  He loves to laugh and play with his siblings.  He and Dare are especially great playmates.  Even though she sometimes lets him fall off of the couch, or squeezes him around the middle too hard.  He is a lover.  He gives great hugs and lots of kisses.  He still does the open mouth kind so there is always slobber involved.  He is really cool, and laid back.  He doesn't really complain too much.  Only when I can't hold him when he wants me to, or when I won't let him stand on top of tables.  He has been told no about a million times, and every time he will look at me, smile, and shake his head.  I taught him how to nod, but he only does that if I ask him if he wants a snack.  He makes me laugh every day.  I am so glad he is a part of our family.

                              

Crime Dog Turns One

If I wanted a baby who was not afraid to dig in, I got one.  He enjoyed this more than any child I have ever seen.  I wasn't surprised at the carnage.  The one-year birthday cake tradition suited him perfectly.

Happy Birthday G!  Maybe someday your age will catch up to you. 

My Humans

These are they.  Who are they you ask?  Me.  Every last one of them is me.

They all wanted to cuddle with Dad.  Rhon was first, but when every one else came over she split.  But I made her go back for the picture.

Vintage Wine

I don't even know what to say.  He has moved on from tampons.  His new favorite thing to get into is make-up.  I don't even wear lipstick.  I have three older sisters who would buy things from Clinique and get a free gift.  They would give me the stuff they didn't want.  And I have kept it all these years.  I have a bag of random lipstick, eye shadow, and perfume under the sink in my bathroom.  I have had it somewhere between 10 and 20 years!  I guess I just hated to throw away good make-up, and I thought someday I might figure out how to use the stuff.  Well, this is one way to use it.  This isn't the first time he has gotten into it.  More like the 73rd time.  I should have learned my lesson, but I hate child proofing and there is nowhere else to put it.  So enjoy the pictures.  It was heck to clean up.

      

               

This is my leg.  It will probably never come out.  Good thing it is just my pajama pants.  And yes it happened while I was taking his picture.  But you better be quiet... all of you would have taken his picture if he was yours.  I know it.  Don't try to deny it.
                                   

The aftermath. 

And to think of it, he did all this while I was writing about Dare's birthday.  I know, I know... how dare he?  So I just spanked him and put him to bed so I could blog some more.
      

It is really hard to take a picture of your own right arm.  It was all over me.  And lipstick is meant to stay on, dang it!

Number 5

The day I have been dreading for almost a year came.  I couldn't stop it.  I kept telling her she didn't "need" to have a birthday.  She could just stay four forever.  She would just look at me with a blank stare and say, "I'm having a birthday."  Ah well, I tried.  She started asking me, "How many days until my birthday?" in like January.  Now I am trying to convince her that she doesn't "need" to go to school.  She just looks at me with the same blank stare and says, "I'm going."  I still have 271 days to get used to the idea.

When I put Dare back to bed after one of her nightly pee adventures, I saw this on her magnet board.  I guess she was looking forward to today.

I think her favorite part of the day was when both the boys were asleep at the same time.  It doesn't happen very often, or ever.  I have to admit it was pretty nice.  We had lots of fun together getting ready for the party.

The party was small.  Well, my five make everything big.  But we just invited a couple friends.  We played games, had cupcakes and beat on a pinata.  This is K.  My newest favorite four year old (since Dare is five now).

Freeze dance.  My favorite party game.  The kids love it, and it burns energy.

After they destroyed the pinata, they used it for party hats.  That is A on the left, and J on the right.  

Happy Birthday Dare!  You will always be my baby girl!

Nice Shot

Dare eating a banana.  I couldn't help taking her picture.  She looked so cute with her cheeks full.

Contrarian and PTC

My kids oppose me.  All of them.  Some more than others, of course.  B.A. is the worst.  If I told her the sky was blue, she would look at it, look me straight in the eye and say it was not.  I always knew Mads was most like her, and this conversation  didn't surprise me a bit. 

We were at church and he noticed a picture of Joseph Smith in the grove.

Mads:  "Two Jesuses.  Mom... two Jesuses."

Me:   "You think so?  Actually one of those is supposed to be Heavenly Father."

Mads:   pause...    thinking...     "Nope.  Two Jesuses."

**********

We had parent teacher conferences this last week.  It is nice to hear that your kids are doing well and enjoying themselves.  All of their teachers are great.  B.A. will soon be done with spelling.  No more spelling ever.  She has a memory like Nate.  We learned that she told one of her teachers one day that she loves school, and she likes her teachers a lot, but she really likes to be at home with her family.  She told her teacher that she wished they could just come over to her house so we could all just be together all day.  I was touched.  I'm not the most perfect mom in the world, but my kids like being at home, so I must be doing something right.  The thing I remember most about that night is G walking to the door, looking at us, waving good-bye, and walking straight out the door.  Stinker.

Extra

G jumps on the bed!  The dude isn't even one yet and he JUMPS on the bed.  He climbs onto Mads' bed, stands up, and starts jumping.  I'm afraid.  Very afraid.

Two things Mads says that I love:

"I'm sorry."  He usually says I'm sorry Dadda because he thinks that it what it says on the last page of the book David Gets in Trouble.

When I ask him why for any reason, he says "cause".  Then...

Me:  Cause why?

Mads:  Be-cause  (it actually sounds more like... tuz... beetuz)   

I can usually get him to say them both in the same conversation when I ask him why he is sorry.  We both laugh, because he knows I love it. 

I decided there is nothing better than a husband who is nice to you.  Oh wait... a husband who is nice to you and cooks amazing food!

Dare and Mads played in the snow today.  They loved it.  They both had frozen snot coming out of their noses.  I am so excited to go sledding and snowboarding.  

My muscles get sore from playing Rock Band.  I figured it must be a good work-out then... right?

I love November, but it is a crazy-busy month.

Rhon said something funny the other day.  During FHE, we were talking about fire safety and what to do if there was a fire in the house.  During the review she summarized in her characteristic matter-of-fact way, "We wake up our sisters, go to the front door, go outside by the mailbox, and watch our house go down."  

An unfinished basement is perfect for Family Night Basketball.  I wish I would have taken a picture.  

The person who decided to have Daylight Savings Time must not have had a baby.  Instead of waking up at 6:30, G wakes up at 5:30.  Oh well... it's good for me (not really, I'm trying to stay positive).

Sugar, Sugar, SUGAR!

Mads didn't want me to spray his hair again, so I just did the mohawk.  Turns out, I liked it better this way.  G did not want to take a group picture.  B.A. had to hold him for me.  I looks like it is just short of choking.  But I got the picture.  That's what's important... right?

G fell asleep while we were trick-or-treating.  The little bugger won't take an afternoon nap anymore... already.  I guess the warm suit and the stroller ride was more than he could take.  (my pictures are out of order and I didn't feel like fixing them)

The weather was so nice.  I think the low was only supposed to be 56 degrees.  I think we have been having record highs this week.  It sure beat snow and/or 20 degrees.  Two things we have had to deal with on Halloween.  There were TONS of kids out.  Sheri stayed at our house to pass out candy, and it was gone.  She even brought some of her own.  I couldn't believe it.  I love seeing so many kids out.  It seems so festive.

I was seriously lucky to get him to sit still for a half a second.  That is B.A.'s pumpkin behind him.  She said it was half cat half reindeer.  I love it.  I thought it was very creative.  Rhon's is the one with one eye, and Dare's is the one with three eyes.  Dare actually drew hers on the pumpkin herself.  It gave it such personality.  I loved them all!  

Sugar Please

The Trunk or Treat was last night.  I took their pictures  because I wasn't sure their costumes would make it.  The other day when Dare tried hers on, she put a run in her tights, and got blood on it.   And she was wearing it for about 4 minutes.  

I don't know why I didn't take any of G.  Probably because I was running around like a crazy lady trying to get everyone ready.  Nate had to go to the church early to help with the Young Men's booth. 

B.A. has wings, but she couldn't wear them in the car.  I told her she and Rhon should switch costumes because that is more like real life.  I know that is mean.  But she had to see it coming.  Right, B.A.?  

I tried putting eye liner on Mads.  He didn't like it.  When I sprayed his hair, he didn't like it.  But when he realized he can wear a costume, say trick or treat and he gets a bag full of candy, he was having the time of his life.  Tomorrow should be fun.  

I am thinking getting the kids ready for Halloween more than once a year is a dumb.  I don't think I can do it tomorrow.  I can already feel the stomach ache of stress coming on.