
This kid is not my best friend right now.
How many times can I pull him off the counter before going insane?
How many times can I tell him "no" in a kind tone before I lose my cool?
How many times can I grab him from the street before I decide to never go outside again?
He has already been in time out.
He has already been sent inside for not listening outside.
He has already been forced to clean up his own messes.
He eats soap out of the bathroom, and in the kitchen sink.
He stands on and IN the toilet.
He plays in the video game basket.
He dumps toys, and runs away.
He dumps books, and runs away.
He empties my cabinets, and runs away.
He pours water everywhere.
He thinks it's fun to see if the girls can read The Friend if it is in a million pieces.
He enjoys chucking the dishes, and shutting the dishwasher when I am trying to load it.
Nothing deters him from climbing on the stove. Not even the fire.
He bites off all the erasers of our pencils.
He uses crayons to color on anything.
He also uses crayons as snacks.
He screams.
He bites.
He flops.
And worst of all, he still only says, "Daddy". And it sounds really cute. No "Momma" yet.
He decided recently that he doesn't want to sit still while I put a diaper on. Sometimes they get ripped while trying to fight him.
He figured out how to weasel through the fence into our neighbors back yard.
He learned to climb the stools. And how he can push them anywhere to aide in his trouble-making quests.
Nothing stops this kid.
I have never known such naughtiness.
My patience has never been tested to this degree.

He still makes me smile. Even when I am trying not to because I am mad at him.
I love the way his cheeks jiggle when he walks. The ones on his face, but I'm sure the other ones do too.