New Smile #2

                                                         

Rhon's lucky day!  Not only did she lose one tooth, she lost two.  Or had them pulled, rather.  I guess permanent teeth can trap baby teeth in, and they never get loose enough to fall out.  I noticed her permanent tooth coming in behind her baby one, so I called the dentist.  He said if it wasn't loose enough he would have to pull it.  Turns out, the other one was even worse, so he pulled both out.  We got all this for the low low price of $73.  I sucks to spend money on something that should have happened on its own... completely free (well, except for "Tooth Fairy" fees). 

                                

She was perfectly excited, of course.  I think this helped her deal with the pain.  I think she was a little surprised about how tingly her face felt, and how weird two big holes in her mouth felt.  It was funny because she kept drooling without noticing until it was too late.  She also talks with a slight lisp now.  I think it is way cute.  I love telling her to say Christmas.

This was difficult for me for two reasons.  Number 1...  I am a wuss, so I couldn't even watch the dentist pull them out.  I could hear it though, and it made me cringe.  I still can't believe you can just take a pair of pliers and yank a tooth out.  Shouldn't they be more stable than that?  And 2... I cried more than once when I saw her adorable smile, and heard her sweet new way of talking.  It's just the growing up too fast thing.      

Predator

The little man is 8 months old!  He seems so big sometimes, but still so little.  Compared to all the other kids, he has done everything first.  He doesn't walk without help yet, but he is close.  He crawls on his hands and feet.  His first tooth emerged on Monday.  Before him, the earliest tooth came closer to a year.  He wants to feed himself.  When I got fed up with getting pureed carrots spit all over me, I just gave him what we were having for dinner.  So his first "human" meal was Pineapple Coconut Curry.  He only liked it when his own fat hand shoved it in. 

 (B.A. says babies aren't human.  When they start walking, they "walk like a human".  When they start talking, they "talk like a human", etc.)   

Photo by Shelle

I asked Nate to write about a certain aspect of his personality at 8 months.  Here is what he had to say:

Don't let the photo above fool you - I'm pretty sure that SCM isn't completely human (I agree with B.A. in some regards on the issue of SCM's not quite complete humanity - not all, mind you, but some).  Appearances can be, and are, deceiving.  To wit: On the exterior, SCM is merely an exceptionally cute, happy, chubby baby, with no easily discernible superhuman abilities.  That's how he seems most of the time, actually.  Lovable, good-natured, and eminently non-predacious.  Most of the time.  Until you get him around food.  Not his own food, that sits on the tray of his own high chair, and is consumed at normal speed, without anything exceptional except the mess he makes with it (which is a phenomenon unto itself).  No, it is other people's food that awakens the superhuman powers that dwell within this otherwise innocuous young child.  

This was first manifest about a month ago, when we (well, I) made some homemade blueberry muffins.  The muffins, fresh from the oven, had just cooled to an eatable temperature, and Mandie, with SCM in tow, had managed to fight her way past the other kids to nab one for herself.  SCM was perched on her hip, ostensibly observing proceedings without any particular sense of interest.  I didn't realize it at the time, but this was simply a ruse on his part (one of his powers is superhuman deviousness).  His modus operandi is to lull us (or anyone possible, really - we haven't been the only ones to fall prey to his act) in to a false sense of security.  Of course your food is safe this close to me - I'm just a little baby.  I have absolutely no designs whatsoever on that freshly baked muffin.  Do I look even remotely interested in it?  As Mandie, oblivious to the impending danger to her berry-laden comestible,  prepared to apply some butter, it happened.  With speed and violence that were shocking, with unerring accuracy and hand-eye coordination that belied his tender age, SCM struck.  Most of us have seen those nature shows where they show a coiled snake striking at an unsuspecting rodent with lightning quickness, or a great white slamming into a seal from below with enough force to take both seal and shark completely out of the water.  This was like that - multiplied by ten (and except for the gore - but that's only because muffins don't bleed).  In a fraction of a second, it was over.  Mandie was left standing there with a shocked look on her face, holding a ruined muffin fragment, and SCM was already jamming the crown of the muffin (yes, he took the best part - not an accident, I promise you) down his gullet with both hands.  Everyone else was stunned, too.  And impressed.  

Did we learn from this?  Well, a little, I guess.  We learned that we had a small child that was endowed with abilities far beyond those of most humans.  But did we modify our behavior?  Did we take precautions?  In a word, no.  That Sunday, we attended sacrament meeting as usual.  SCM was acting tired (also as usual), and was sitting on Mandie's lap, for all appearances drowsy and disinterested in the goings on around him.  The sacrament was passed, and I took a piece and handed the tray to Mandie.  She, too, took a piece, while SCM just sat there, almost inert, sleepy scowl on his face, sucking us in to his trap yet again.  You can pass that tray close to me.  What could I possibly want with a little tiny piece of white bread?  There's no danger.  Completely unsuspecting, Mandie started to pass the tray to B.A., and as her hand just began to describe the arc that would accomplish that end, SCM pounced.  Same ferocity, same accuracy, same speed, same result.  Before Mandie was even halfway through the movement of passing the tray, he had reached out, snatched a piece of bread (one piece only - he wasn't striking willy-nilly here, but with purpose), and put it in his mouth, all without upsetting the motion of the tray.   I was in awe.  Mandie was flabbergasted.  The deacon that was standing at the end of our row was trying not to laugh.  

Since these two incidents we have wised up a little, but that's not always enough to avoid the devastating effects of SCM's superhuman powers and superior predatory instincts. Nothing is safe, especially when you think it is safest - that's when he most loves to strike (the deviousness, remember?).   

Mint Mojito

The girls love chewing gum.  I don't know if it's because I hardly ever let them, or what.  They love Sundays because I will usually have gum in my bag and let them have a piece after sacrament.  This Sunday was no different.  Rhon even reminded me before we left to check my bag and make sure it had gum in it.  Mads is even starting to get in on the action.  He used to just chew it for a minute or two and swallow it.  Now he chews it for about 10 minutes then swallows it.

Dare gave her first talk today.  We didn't prepare it until this morning so I had to tell it to her line by line and have her repeat it.  Let me just say that it was hard for me to get some of the sentences out because I was laughing so hard.  

She was so excited.  The last time she was asked to give a talk we weren't able to go to church and she was devastated.  So even though I would have loved to skip church today (church is one of my weekly challenges), I got myself ready, and with the help from Nate, got every one else ready.  I have never seen a child more proud to walk straight up to the stand and sit down (opening exercises is in the chapel).  She showed no signs of nervousness.  This should go well, I thought.

When it was Dare's turn, she walked right up to the podium, looked everyone right in the eye, and gave a smile like she just told a joke and everybody was laughing.  The first line was I am a child of God, and she said it very clearly.  She has always been an excellent talker, so there is never a problem of people understanding her.  In this case, there wasn't a problem of people hearing her either.  She was very LOUD.

She loved the microphone!  It was definitely a classic case of getting too close, and talking too loud.  I loved it.  I wasn't the only one laughing.  I'm pretty sure every one was.  For a second I worried that that would make her self-conscious.  But she thrived on it.  It just made her smile bigger and talk louder.

I knew I should have made her spit her gum out before, but I didn't want to unnecessarily upset her before her talk.  Once or twice when she was listening to me say her line, she would chew her gum.  This, as you can imagine, was very loud, too.  She read a primary song, and this is how it went:

I can be a missionary now.

I don't have to wait until I'm grown.

SMACK SMACK      SMACK 

I'll live each day the best that I know how.

SMACK    SMACK

And they'll see I have a testimony of my very own.

SMACK       SMACK SMACK

As I walked over to where Nate was sitting, I saw him wiping tears away.  This was in the top 5 Most Entertaining Church Experiences Ever.

I can't finish without mentioning the boy who was dressed like Steve Irwin.  Nate was calling him "little nipper", and talking like Steve Irwin all through Sacrament Meeting.  Most hilarious.  Crikey!

Picture Tag

1.  Kitchen sink

I was so glad to take a picture of this.  It NEVER looks this clean.  I know all you clean freaks are thinking that it's not that clean, but it's my ideal so shut it. 

2.  My toilet

Yup, that is where I park my patoot.

3.  Laundry Room

I have to say... I am glad I have one, but that's about it.  Looks like I need to straighten up the shelf.  Yikes!

4.  Inside the fridge

This is why we need an additional fridge.

5.  What my kids are doing

Playing in the back yard.  I took a picture of Mads too, but he was not wearing pants (the usual these days).

6.  My favorite shoes

I actually love all my Reef flacks.  These are the ones I was wearing today.

7.  My favorite room

This is where I spend most of my time.  I like to cook, and I like that the kids hang with me when I am there.

8.  My closet

I should have taken the picture while the door was closed.  A bit embarrassing.  If you didn't know I wasn't an organized person, you do now.

9.  Dream vacation

This is Rome, but I would love Venice or Florence too.

10.  Self portrait

Oh man, am I adorable.  Ha!

I guess I will keep this thing going by tagging Deb and Nicole.

Next Time, No Shirt

This is an enthusiastic thumbs up for Gerber's Biter Biscuits.  

Every time I have a baby at this phase, I tell myself not to buy these things.  They are nothing but big fat messes.  But every time I still buy them.  The kids always love them, and they keep them entertained for at least the time it takes me to decide what to make for dinner, make it, and eat it.

I love the crust that forms on their face and ... well, everywhere.  The face crust always becomes same pattern. The clown smile ring.  

Seriously.

   
I have a picture of every one of my children with this exact same face.  I'm not really sure why the spots right around his lips come out squeaky clean.  The onsie he was wearing was junk afterwards, and I had to take him outside to clean him off with the pressure washer.  No regrets.  It was worth it to see how happy those nasty little brown cookies make him.

Camp Dirtinmyteeth

Well, despite the fact that I am a horrible camper (bad sleep, bad hygiene, dirt... just to name a few of my dislikes), we took the fam out for a weekend of nature living.  

All of the kids thought the dirt was best playground.  I was a little surprised.  Dare had about 6 or 7 piles of dirt and leaves she was working on.  They were each a different "entree" she had whipped up.  

SCM's first camping experience was... um... memorable.  I realized quickly he could not be put down anywhere.  We brought a blanket for him to lay on, but he was off of it in seconds, with dirt and plant debris in his mouth.  You would think he would stop eating it after having me clean out his mouth with my finger for about 5 minutes following the dirt fiesta.  I just carried him around the rest of the time.  Rhon would hold him for me, and B.A. tried but she has no desire to do it right.  The first night he screamed for about an hour in the middle of the night.  I think our fellow campers thought there was an injured bobcat in the vicinity.

Have I ever mentioned he always has his tongue out?

We were laughing at this picture because of Rhon's kiss lips.  I told her no one will want to kiss her if she puckers like that.  Plus she just looks hilarious.

Roasting marshmallows was by far the highlight.  It was pretty funny watching Mads because he would put it in the fire for about 2 seconds, blow it off and eat it.  He wanted to roast some for Nate, and none of them were even warm.  Nate ate the raw marshmallows anyway.

I think my oldest was the dirtiest.  I asked her if it bothered her, and she said, "It's camping."  I wasn't aware that filth was a requirement.  I guess I am glad she is not high maintenance.  See Paris trying to sit on Mads' chair?  I think she got tired of the dirt before the kids did.  She kept trying to steal every one's chair.

I will probably remember this camping trip above all others.  It was special for many reasons.

The Go-Getter

This is dedicated to all those Grandpas out there who never get mentioned in their daughter-in-law's blog.

A couple weeks ago we had a wonderful visitor.  He came to us not only with smiles, but with ideas and free labor.

I am talking, of course, of the one and only Grandpa Steve.  There is nothing I can say or do that shows my gratitude for what Steve did this last visit.  Our back yard was being severely neglected.  Mostly due to lack of desire for hard work.  But Steve came and took over.  Now it is a place where we can play and sit and have a good time.

  
The pictures are for you Steve.  The front yard picture is just a bonus because it is pretty.  Look how beautiful the back yard is! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Now stop your whining!

Good Job! (sort of)

Mads has been doing great with the potty training thing.  We took a few months off because of vacation and illness, but we are back on track now.  Actually, as long as he is naked he doesn't have accidents.  And, in the last few days, he has started taking off his diaper if he needs to go. Or even his swimming suit, as my neighbors have seen on more than one occasion.  Yes, that was my naked 2 year old running around in the front yard.  Anyway, I think he is moving in the right direction.  

                                               

I saw this potty at IKEA the last time I was there.  I decided to buy it since it was only $4.  I love it!  I'm not sure if I would have liked it so much for girls, but it is great for boys.  The pee doesn't go everywhere, and you don't have to worry about extra pieces to keep that from happening.  It is easy for him to sit on, and there are no moving parts like in our other one, that I found annoying.  Cleaning poo out is a bit of a quandary, but I figured that is a dirty job with any potty.  And it was only $4.  Did I mention that?

I put a diaper on him tonight when we went to have dinner with friends.  I didn't want to worry about it while we were there.  For most of the night he was fine with peeing in his diaper.  Then Rhon told me he had taken his diaper off.  As I walk into the room where the suspicious diaper lay, I see one of these... 

                          

My first thought was "Oh crap!"  I knew exactly what I would find when I looked inside.  And I was right.  How embarrassing!  I still felt like I should tell him he did a good job... how could I not?  It does look like a potty... sort of.  We cleaned it up, but hopefully the impression won't last long after the pee is gone. 

Okay, so honestly, should I buy them a new one? 

I Need My Eight

Why won't my kids sleep?  

I have always been so proud of my children and their willingness to go to bed and sleep when they are asked.  I would boast about it.  Here I go... you have to imagine the snooty bragging mom voice.  "My kids are soooo wonderful.  They are all in bed at 8 o'clock and asleep shortly thereafter.  I have trained them so well.  I have never had a problem with any of my fabulous sleepers."  Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit.  But I really do wonder what happened in the last six or so months that has changed.  Here are my issues, not in order of importance, or annoyance:

1.  I know the older girls don't have school, but they don't end up asleep until about 11:00 EVERY night.  What happened to my alone time?  

2.  Even though they stay awake late, they still get up before 8 am.  How is that possible?

3.  When the older girls finally do fall asleep, Dare starts her routine of getting out of bed with any number of issues.  Here's the normal litany of nighttime get-out-of-bed excuses that she likes to use, and I quote:

"Mooooom, my (fill in random body part) hurts!"

"Mooooom, I'm hot/cold"     Hot or cold can be used interchangeably, sometimes within 5 minutes of each other.

"Mooooom, I'm thirsty.  Can I get a drink?"     She also gets hungry.

"Mooooom, are you watching TV?"     When it is obvious because the TV is on.

"Mooooom, ummm... (long pause) ... I love you."     I know Dare loves me, but she makes me especially aware of this fact when she is supposed to be asleep.

 

4.  I love to hold SCM and pat his bum to put him to sleep.  I have never been a let them cry themselves to sleep kind of mom.  So I do this 3-4 times a day.  But he still cries.  At night he will scream and fight it with admirable determination.  

5.  When he finally goes to sleep, I quietly take him to his room.  As soon as his fat little head hits the mattress his eyes pop open.  What more can I do for this mini person?  Sometimes he will start screaming again, and we start the whole process over.

6.  SCM still doesn't sleep through the night regularly.  This actually doesn't bother me that much, because I sleep walk to get him, and sleep walk to feed him, and I don't even remember doing either.  He just sort of magically ends up in my bed in the morning.

7.  Then there is Mads.  I know I just posted about his sleep problems, but holy crap, this kid is killing me.  He is either up until after midnight, or if he goes to bed early, he is awake in the middle of the night.  It's like having a little sprite or brownie that comes out at 4 am to invade our room.  It doesn't want to harm us, it just wants to make mischief.  We are aware of his presence with a half-consciousness one gets in the wee hours before the sun comes up.  In the haze, there is poking and prodding, and we hear giggles and occasional crashes of objects being dropped.   Sometimes, on those more fortunate nights, we even get walked on, or our faces get sat on.    

I've had it.  I'm going to start using tranquilizers and duct tape.    

To: Mads

                 
                                                                              
                                               
Dear Mads,

Doing whatever Dare does is not your best career move.  That is if you want to avoid being in trouble.

Love,

Mom and Dad

Name of the Game

When Nate and I first got married, we played a lot of video games together.  I remember late nights with a 64 ounce Dr. Pepper, and a PlayStation controller.  We logged in many hours of Bushido Blade.  We also played the 2-player Tetris.  Later came Tony Hawk's Pro Skater.    You know, the one where you can compete against each other?  Most of the time it was all in fun.  The good, clean, what-else-do-you-have-to-do-outside-of-the-bedroom kind of fun.  

Then I realized I liked beating him.  It didn't happen all the time, not even most of the time.  But as long as I was winning here and there I was happy.  I figured his video game experience was many years above mine, so losses were expected.  Sometimes, when things weren't going my way, I would get slightly flustered.  I would have to keep playing and playing until I was happy with my win count.  

Over the next few years I turned everything into a competition with him.  I made up silly games like... who can throw the ball closest to the ceiling without touching it, or how many times can you catch a ball with your feet in a row, etc.  If I made up the game I was sure to win... right?  He was always a willing participant, and won 68% of the time.  Yes, I kept track. 

I'm not really a competitive person by nature.  My mom always told me I would have been a much better gymnast if I cared more about winning.  But, with Nate, something in me just wants to kick his butt.  Your eternal partner is supposed to bring out the best in you after all.

When we first moved to Utah, I bought him a dart board.  I thought, hey... this will be fun.  It was.  We logged in more hours of competitive fun.  Most of the time it was great.  But when I lost too much, I got more than flustered.  I remember stomping up the stairs on more than one occasion.  In came the silent treatments, and girly drama.  I hardly ever beat him at darts, and it drove me crazy.  Without fail, I would want to play again.  He started asking me, "Are you sure?  I don't want you to get mad at me."  My responses sounded something like, "Me? Mad?  No, no not me.  I just like having fun with you, of course."  

I lied.

I am over it by now, for the most part.  It helps that since Guitar Hero came out, my video game ability went up a few notches.  I rule him.  

Something happened today to make me think of all this.  The girls were chewing gum, and Dare innocently asked me where I thought her gum was.

"It better be in your mouth."  I said.

"It's up here."   She shows me her gum stuck to the roof of her mouth.

The next thing I hear is B.A. (yes, I changed her name again) saying...

"Hey.  Say stuck or free."  She wanted the other girls to guess where her gum was in her mouth.  Stuck somewhere or free.  Duh, that's the name of the game.  

They proceeded to guess (willing participants).  This "game" went on, with incorrect answers, for a few minutes before B.A. declared, "I'm a genius at this game!"  

That's my girl!    

Brothers

This is one of the pictures Shelle took.  I thought it turned out adorable.  It makes me think about what great friends these boys are already, and how I hope they love each other like this forever.  After we had Mads I felt like we were done.  That feeling didn't last long since they are only 1 1/2 years apart.  But I knew when I got pregnant with SCM, it was meant to be.  Then, when I found out he was a boy, I was so happy.  He is the only one of my babies that I really hoped for one sex over the other.  I think it is a miracle he wasn't a girl. Believe me... I have my reasons.  When we were in Arizona this last time, Grandma recited a poem to me.  This is not uncommon for her.  She has a memory that can't be matched.  She probably can recite 1000 poems without hesitation.  All poems, rhymes, or songs she spoke to her children, and grandchildren.  Now my kids, her great-grandchildren, are enjoying them. This poem made me cry.  I am really glad my boys have each other. 

Two little brothers went out to play,

And they were happy all the day.

They took turns on the swing,

And they pretended they were kings.

They tossed the ball, so big and round,

And rolled it along on the ground.

They used boxes,

And pretended they were foxes.

They dug tunnels in the sand, 

And tooted horns in the band.

Nighttime came, and time for bed,

And two little brothers bowed their heads.

They knelt very close to each other,

And thanked Heavenly Father for their brother.

Gazing

Check this out.  This was in response to my last post.  It is a picture of Rhon at a birthday party where the girls were dressing up.  She was 4, or just barely 5 (I can't remember when Kylie's birthday is).  Aspen must have thought it was funny enough to take a picture.  Aparently, she has had this "quirk" for a while now.  I doubt she will get over it any time soon.  

Quirks

#1  -  She will laugh and cry at the same time.  Usually it works like this:  She will start crying about something dumb, Nate will make fun of her, then she starts laughing.  Her cry turns into this psycho, freaky laugh-cry that makes me worry about her saneness.  Sometimes she will go back to crying, other times the laugh goes on... too long.

#2  -  She will stare at herself in any mirror, any time.  It is pretty funny when I am in the bathroom (not usually on the toilet, but sometimes) and she tries to tell me something.  She will watch herself the whole time.  Most of the time, she will get distracted and not be able to keep her mind on what she is trying to tell me.  So the story takes way longer than it could have.  She will fix her hair, smile, make flirty faces, etc.

#3, AKA "Baby Girl"  -  She cries every time she has to get up in the night to go to the bathroom.  Not only that, but she is completely disoriented.  This happens every night between 11 and 12, so we are usually awake to watch the spectacle.  Here is how this works:  She starts to cry in her bed.  If I think it is taking her too long to get up I will go in and help.  I will find her flopping and squirming all over.  If she manages to make it out of her room by herself, she will do a number of things.  I have seen her go into our room to pee, walk into the family room with her pants down, try to open the door handle (that isn't there) on the wall, or stand around in the bathroom not knowing what to do.  One time I went to check on her in the bathroom and she was trying to put her panties on over her PJ pants.  Poor thing. 

#4  -  He is a great eater, but he will go Kobayashi on his food.  That is to say he dunks EVERYTHING in whatever liquid he happens to have on hand.  He routinely dunks his pizza into Root Beer.  What a way to ruin both.  The water dunking is even worse.  Why would you want to water down your food?  Then he will try to shove disproportionate amounts of food in his mouth.  Without fail he will try to swallow the massive bites he has just taken - way too soon.  

#5, AKA "Baby Dude"  -  He has lots, but I chose his ability to stand on his head.  He started crawling, earlier than any of the others,  because his balance is amazing.  He likes to use his feet (not knees), and head.  He doesn't move like this too much, but he will just hang out upside down.  It is hilarious, and he does it all day.

The Fat Suit Is Comin' Off

                                                    

                                                     Mega Fat Suit

Here I am about 60 pounds overweight.  I only lost 22 when the huge baby came out.
                                                                      

Mega Face Fat Suit 

What am I storing in those cheeks?  Maybe food I could eat while at church.  Since I was hungry ALL DAY.

I have lost 10 pounds in the last few months.  Just 25 more to go.  I feel like there is hope for me.  I have spent the last 7 years of my life (only with a bit of space between Dare and Mads) either taking care of a baby inside of me, or trying to feed one.  

I like exercise, thankfully.  Because I also like dessert.